I’d like to say that it was the lighting in the dressing room that fooled me when I bought these pants – because I’m sure you all know how that lighting can be a little, well, funky at times – but that would be a lie. And you would probably totally believe me if I told you that some really pushy salesgirl talked me into them….but sadly no, that would not be true either. And wouldn’t it make for a great story if I told you I were totally drunk when I bought them??! I mean, that story would probably have some pretty good details, and being drunk well, that could certainly explain a lot of things about the situation…..But alas, no, that would not be true either. The truth is, I was completely of sound mind when I walked into a store and, without bothering to try them on, picked up these jeans off of a table and bought them. Just like that. They spoke to me, and I answered their call. Well, what can I say? I love the color pink.

I put them on today, because they’ve been hanging out in my closet for a while now since I bought them, because I’ve been a little bit intimidated by them, to tell you the truth. And probably for good reason.

I walked downstairs wearing them today, and when Carsten saw me, he said, “Whoa. Mom. Why are you wearing pink jeans?”

Uhhhh….midlife crisis?? I thought. But I said, “Because. I like pink.”

I waited for Anna to weigh in on the matter, as she usually does (regardless of whether she is asked to or not), but she was silent. She just eyed me up and down several times, and then said she thought I should wear some pink earrings with my outfit.

Because I always put on some skinny jeans to clean the house (don’t you?), I started putting some things away, and as I was hanging up coats and jackets, I happened to notice that I have a pink jacket that is the exact same shade of pink as my jeans. I really wasn’t kidding: I love the color pink.

So, I held up the jacket, and said, “Hey, maybe I should wear this jacket tonight.” I was totally kidding of course, but the kids thought I was serious. Anna recoiled in horror, and looked at me like I’d just said I was going to go out naked. And Carsten said, “Yeah! Do it! You’ll look just like Nicki Minaj! Hot pink is her favorite color, you know.” Well, no. I did not, in fact, know what Nicki Minaj’s favorite color is, but I’m so glad to be informed now.

Well. If the hot pink skinny jeans were sitting a little uncomfortably on me before, now I was really second-guessing my judgment.

But then I thought….we are going to Chicago tonight. To a play, and then out for dinner. If there’s anywhere I can wear hot pink skinny jeans and not feel out of place, Chicago is it, right? I mean, you really have to go out of your way to be ‘noticed’ in the city, right?

And still….a part of me was unsure, because good God, is there anything worse than a 40-something trying to dress like a 20-something? (Well, yes, and that would be a 60-something trying to dress like a 20-something….but either way, it’s not good.) Am I trying to dress like a 20-something? Am I, in fact, buying hot pink skinny jeans because I’m having a midlife crisis? Is this the female version of going out a buying a red sports car?

Turns out……those questions are rendered merely philosophical at this point. Because guess what? The freaking zipper on those lovely (in my opinion) pink skinny jeans just broke. As in, it won’t zip back up. So. I will be wearing different jeans now.

Message from the universe?

I’d rather not know.